How the intention becomes clouded by struggle

...WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO...
Now, with this title, I can go (m)any direction. But where I’m meaning to go is, that within a particular part in the process of painting, your intention can be clouded by…what you experience as…an inner struggle.

See if this sounds familiar to you:
You have a beautiful subject that you want to paint and have a pretty good idea on how it is going to…or supposed to…be. Now, even someone who has plenty of experience in painting, who knows a variety of techniques, knows which brushes to use and what mediums will help in the process, this still might be an issue.
At a certain point you might find yourself asking the question: how am I going to do this? What is the best approach? Can I do this? Or even you might hear yourself thinking…I don’t know how to do this.
Maybe this is just a question, a thought, that crosses your mind. But nothing more. You just ignore it, do your thing and in the end have a beautiful painting as expected. Or, and this often happens during the courses I give, this questioning, these thoughts, become a serious fender-bender for your ability to actual feel and experience a progress in painting. It becomes a serious hindrance, a system of believes that is obstructing you to get the eventually wanted result. And that is a shame when considered that you can do something about it.

A lot of times this obstruction has its origin in the sense that you’re stuck because you can’t see where to go, from the moment this obstruction is noticed. Now, the obstruction itself is of no concern. Whether it is not knowing what it is what you try to paint, not knowing how to use the right technique, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is to know what happened in your mind before the obstruction became indeed an obstruction.
An obstruction…or a problem…becomes only an obstruction the moment you see and handle it as so. Of course, at any given moment you can, and will, get to a point that you will be confronted with some sort of challenge or difficulty. But it only becomes a problem when you think…believe…that it is, indeed, a problem. It is a matter of perspective.
When does it become a problem? Most of the time it’s in the moment that you, yourself, can’t find a solution for that particular problem/obstruction.

It is important to clarify what happened prior to the moment you declared that something has become a problem or an obstruction. And, most of the times, it can be found in an (older) system of believes that was once adopted and put into motion, because there was a believable and convincing reason to do so. How this convincement came to existence can have multiple origins, whether it where your parents, your friends, school, family in general, or even adapting certain behavior that you witnessed in your surroundings. It all effects our ability to form and select our own definition on what we might or might not believe as being true or able to do. And believe me, these ‘roots’ of forging your inner systems, your own believes of how you do, look and think about anything, go way deeper than you might think.
But, if this is true, isn’t it nearly impossible for not being influenced by these adaptations and mostly unconscious habits? And if this is true, then isn’t it really not my fault that this is happening?
it is true that all this isn’t anybody’s fault. It never is, that is for sure. But there is something you can do about it, or, and perhaps that will make it easier to access, there is a way that you won’t be misled by those old, inner systems that might make you believe that you can’t solve the ‘problems’, the obstructions, that you will encounter during something as wonderful as making a painting.
As I tried to acknowledge in my article ‘The joy in painting’, the act of painting should give you joy and a sense of happiness. Even when confronted with a struggle to get to a certain result of mastering a certain technique.
It would be too much, indeed, during a course, to throw in a whole psychoanalysis to unfold the premature adopted behavior patterns of whoever is encountering a struggle. That would be the day. No, it wouldn’t be the place to do this and I do not have the expertise to start such journey. What is possible is to show a different perspective of approaching to that specific ‘obstruction’.

To explain this, I’m describing the process in which you paint from observation. Whether this is still-life, plein-air or from a photograph or even from memory, it applies to all of it.
When painting from observation one of the main goals is to get a likening result. And this result is, most of the time, predetermined in your mind. Even if you paint from a photograph or an orchestrated still-life, it is your mind that creates the desired result.
The thing is, when you start learning to paint, you will undoubtably encounter several ‘road blocks’ that will make you wonder if you can actual do what you set out to do. Only perseverance will determine whether you will figure this out and get to the point you set out to reach. In the end, that will be your determination. But there are some points to take in consideration that can make things a bit easier for you.

NUMBER ONE (and this is the most important one):
Do not try to understand what it is that you’re painting.
I can see your eyebrows move up…if you want to paint something you have to know what it is, no? No, you don’t. Whether you are able to recognize what you paint or not, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you…and I can’t stress this enough…conform yourself to three things: form, color and contrast. You really do not have to know what the subject or the object is to be able to paint it, you really don’t. But you do have to see the form (shape), the color and the contrast in the form.

NUMBER TWO
Don’t interpretate what you see. So important as well!
What I mean is that you shouldn’t translate what you see into what you think it should look like. There is a big difference and it happens more often than you think.
A little example: drawing a cup from a frontal perspective, you will not see the upperpart (the opening) of the cup. And yet, because you know there is an opening, and this opening distinguishes the cup of being a cup, you feel almost obliged to draw it. Even though you do not see it.
We often change or add things in a painting because we let our interpretation get in the middle of our work. You shouldn’t let this happen. Keep hammering on the fact that you do not have to understand what you are painting. Just observe and draw what you see. Nothing more…

NUMBER THREE (Oh dear…it’s about fear)
Last but not least: Fear…something to let go of. The fear for messing things up, that is. Oh lord, stand by me…no…I’m kidding. It is a good topic to talk about, especially since the majority find this obstruction a hard nut to crack.
Who doesn’t recognize that moment that you feel that you finally captured that distinguished look in the portrait, but now you have to alter the skin color and you are too afraid to do so because you believe you will f**k things up. Yes, an all too familiar moment. And yet…what do you have to lose? Nothing, really. Because, the most important part of what you are doing in that particular moment is…learning. If you would have known what to do to avoid altering skin color, you wouldn’t be in this position. No, you are learning to paint and yes, it’s true, this will never stop unless you start painting the same portrait for the rest of your painting career which you’re not.
So, it’s okay to feel the fear of messing things up, but don’t let this change your direction, don’t let this discourage you to learn by doing something all over again.
Just…I know, that word ‘just’ makes everything look easy while it appears differently…but, see if you can acknowledge the source of this fear? What are you really afraid of…and perhaps ‘afraid’ is a to big a word for it…and what is it that you have to lose? If you think about it, if you answer these questions, you will see that it is all very relative and nothing, really, is actually do be afraid of.
So, you messed things up? So, what. You can alter it. So, you feel some fear? Good, you’re human after all. You’re learning to paint. Enjoy this fact and the process. It will give you what you hoping to find.

The rest are actual technical issues and you will learn this eventually by practice.
Practice all kinds of techniques with your brushes. Try different brushes and discover what happens, see what differences there are and make connections to what they can be used for.
A little example: hard brushes are more commonly used for painting fur or hair, painting bushes, grass or trees. Why? Because they leave traces (texture) in the paint which you can use to create a specific suggestion. Also, hard brushes are more commonly used for painting in a looser manner because it gives less control in what you are doing. This is what’s meant by using a ‘random technique’.
Soft brushes, on the other hand, won’t give texture in the paint which makes them more suitable for soft layers, fine work and glazing for example.
Then there are several specific brushes for specific purposes. A liner is specifically designed to make thin long strokes depending on the thickness of the brush. A rounded brush might be used as well for this purpose but will more easily ravel then a liner. There are many different kinds of brushes and it is wise to try them all at least once.

So, the adventure of learning how to paint is indeed an adventure. Don’t treat it any different because your inner world is confronted. If this is happening, take this adventure as a way to free yourself from those limiting habits. Enjoy what you do and how you do it!