Your best is measured in the worst moments

One of the beginning iaidoka of my old dojo made a very interesting point once, when he came back from a mudan tournament. His words were: “if I had a coach, I could have been informed about the repeating mistakes I made during all the takai”.
After the tournament one of the judges told him that all his kata were good but at each kata, he adjusted his hands just after kiri oroshi.

Competitions and tournaments are indeed great opportunities to study one’s own iai. Personally, I would say that winning the takai is more or less inferior to the self-reflection that is made possible during the whole tournament. But at the same time, it is very understandable that one feels the need for a coach during any sort of tournament or competition. The coach can (re)direct you, give you valuable feedback that indeed might give you the difference between winning and losing. But the absence of a coach is actually more effective for your iai. The reason why I hope to explain in this article.

It is said that the true nature of a warrior is shown during battle. What this means is that no matter how good you might be during practice, it is during battle (in this case a tournament) you will see what you are made of, you will see whether you can uphold your balance, your emotions and your thoughts. In other words: the purity of your iai will come to the surface. Because, during a tournament you perform under pressure. Pressure that is coming from several perspectives which, within normal circumstances, are not familiar to you. * You have to perform your kata as good as possible within the setting of the tournament. This basically means that your kata as well as your inner nature must be well balanced.

* If you want to know more about why these different perspectives of pressure are not familiar to you, read this article: “What it comes down to.”

The kata you will learn, you will get familiar with it, through practice. you repeat the same motion over and over again with…and also without…the knowledge that it will get better. But, how do you keep your awareness on this motion which you have been practicing over and over again till it became a second nature. That is a challenge. It is even considered the biggest challenge of practicing iaido.
When you started with iaido, you had a natural enthusiasm, an eagerness to learn. You managed to pay attention to all the little details of each movement within the kata. You could say that you had an awareness for everything you were doing. Now, although this ability to pay attention to your learning process isn’t the same as the awareness that is revered to when we talk about iai, it is helpful to actual awaken your iai. It is an effective way to keep you aware of the process that you conduct with each time you practice. Your focus should be the same as the day you started learning that kata for the very first time. This will help you to keep your attention open at all time so you can alter the movements, the motion and the intentions where needed.
But, in a way, this goes against every method you made your own so far. You learned…you have been told…that you should repeat something until it becomes a routine. But within this routine lies the immediate danger of being unaware of any mistakes that slipped in the performance.
And there is something else as well. All your inner, most of the time unconscious, habits, your personal demons, will without question start to manifest itself in the kata. This is inevitable and one of the reasons why the practice of iaido is very similar to the practice of Zen. You…when you are willing to take this on…will conduct yourself to self-reflection by analyzing your performance. And when your performance has become a routine…meaning that you are unaware of what you do…these manifestations are so much harder to recognize.
if you understand this, you might be able to understand what “iai” actual is.

These ‘manifestations’, these inner “distortions”, become even more visible during moments of stress, like tournament, competition or exam. It is not al to farfetched to say that during these moments it are the best times for your inner demons to be brought to the surface. * Take this in consideration and you have a whole new…and very lucrative…learning curve to your disposal.

* read this article: An interesting cut.

A good way to analyze, to study, your performance during a tournament, is to film it. By looking back at your performance, study it and take every move apart, you have a goldmine of information to work with. Then, during practice, during your training you can find the possibilities to pay attention to those ‘demons’ and use them for a greater good.
Now, I know this is easier said than done. (Un)fortunately, not everyone is as stupidly obsessed as me. This approach demands a great deal of discipline and the ability to do some serious introspective work.
But when this is done and the inner demons are indeed becoming your companion in battle, like a tournament or so, not only your kata will be performed in a much more convincing manner but you are indeed becoming your own personal and inner coach.